Caramel Green Beans

I don't think people realize how delicious green beans can be. Why? Because they buy the shitty, mealy pieces of crap found in canned vegetables.

Look. Just buy fresh green beans. They're usually incredibly cheap and you can even find them in the frozen foods now. Bird's Eye Steamfresh line has them, and I'm a big fan of the Steamfresh line. Don't buy canned vegetables. Have some self respect!

This recipe evolved after my best friend and pseudo-big-sister Michelle made green beans. She wrapped a little handful of beans in a piece of bacon and put butter and brown sugar on top. We all agreed they were pretty good, but could be better.

Enter the inspiration for Caramel Green Beans.

They're not really covered in caramel, but they might as well be. Applewood smoked bacon and a glaze made from bacon drippings, dark brown sugar and butter practically turns these vegetables into a dessert. Try it; you won't be disappointed, and it's easier than hell to make.

Caramel Green Beans

1 pound fresh green beans, trimmed and rinsed (using canned green beans constitutes treason in this army)
1 cup dark brown sugar
1 cup butter
1/4 pound applewood smoked bacon (if you can't find this, get yourself some thick cut hickory smoked and marinate the bacon overnight in cinnamon and apple cider)

Dice up your bacon and throw it in a pan, frying it like you would normally fry bacon. Do not add garlic, for once. Drain the bacon on a paper towel, but leave the drippings and fat in the pan.

Arrange your beans in a casserole dish and toss with your bacon bits. In your bacon pan, add one cup dark brown sugar and one cup butter, stirring attentively to make a thick glaze. If you like, you can add a bit of maple syrup for shits and giggles. Once your glaze is nice and thick and the sugar and butter have become one, pour it all over your beans and bacon and toss them again. Throw them in the oven alongside your sweet potatoes (we'll make those tomorrow) at 400 degrees for roughly 20 minutes. You'll know they're done when your beans look brown, glistening and carmelized. Lie to your kids and say they are candy, enforcing vegetable eating for years to come.